Sittin' With The Dead

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Sittin' Up With the Dead

at 10:50 AM
Email ThisBlogThis!Share to XShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest

No comments:

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Don't Worry, Be Happy

"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead."
Scottish Proverb

Location

Mid-Sized Funeral Home. Somewhere Middle America.
USA
The Cast of Characters (and I do mean characters).

"Undertaker"
Funeral Home Owner.
A man who is very sure of himself, holds his very head high in the community considering that he is the last person to see many of the townsfolk naked and dead. A prankster when deemed necessary, but able to shift from laughter to comforter to those in need. Does not communicate well with any of his staff. We often wonder what the hell is going on. I have a love/hate relationship with this man.

"Embalmer"
Funeral Director One.
A very kind burned out funeral director of many years. Is looking forward to retirement, but has a few years to go. I feel that one day he will say "screw it" and walk out.

"Secretary" This has been more than one person. But all have been very detail oriented. Doing a great job of helping prepare the naggy things that linger for a funeral, preparing the service folders, preparing death certificate, typing flower cards, social security claims, blah, blah, blah...I would hate having this job.

"Me" Handler of the Rest of the Shit. I work the visitations for the dead, translation I sit with dead people. And that could mean anything from answering phones to dealing with the living relatives. I move flowers, I move dead people, I have even painted the nails of the dead. I run the sound board at funerals, I create video tributes for deceased people. I pretty much have done everything except embalm. I deal with everyone from grieving families to weird preachers. I put up with the Undertaker, Embalmer, and everyone else I may encounter...and I see dead people.

The Others: There have been others come and go...but who can blame them for going?

Pull up a chair...

The Undertaker once told me not to write about the funeral home on my blog because the business that takes place in the funeral home should stay there. For a couple of years I respected his wishes and for a couple of years some the funniest stuff has happened so I can no longer restrain myself from writing and sharing it with whoever happens to stumble across my little land of death in cyberspace. Boy, do I ever have some stories to tell and they are bubbling up like witches brew ready to boil over. Hang on to you hat...cause here we go. Enjoy...

To Protect My Arse

All events depicted in these stories are true. Only certain dates, characteristics, and places are changed to protect me from criminal prosecution or civil liability. If you don't like it don't read it. I am exercising my First Amendment Right otherwise known as Freedom of Speech, if this offends anyone, well, sorry.

For the purpose of this blog and any other writings I may publish my name is Virginia Lee and all other names used in my work are pseudonyms.
"Friends applaud, the comedy is over."
Ludwig van Beethoven, 18th century German composer, having just been given Last Rites.

Blog Archive

  • ▼  2012 (5)
    • March (5)

Feedjit

Ethereal theme. Theme images by Ailime. Powered by Blogger.